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Yep… I didn’t see that coming. Learn from my mistakes.
Here’s the naked truth. If you have the unfortunate experience of enduring a divorce, you either have the state of Oregon determining the split or you have your previously negotiated PMA determine your split. Another way to look at it is this… in a divorce, there is always a PMA, it’s either Oregon’s default PMA (i.e. divorce laws) or your privately held PMA.
It’s comparable to your estate. If you die without an estate plan (i.e. a will or a trust), then the state of Oregon decides how your assets are distributed, but if you die with an estate plan, your estate plan determines the distribution.
Why would you give the state of Oregon the power to determine the distribution of your stuff when you could easily decide for yourself?
Getting a PMA isn’t planning for divorce…
It’s planning for the unknown. If A, then B. If C, then D.
My 24+ years experience has taught me that you cannot, and should not, go through life on a wing and a prayer. I believe in the power and the sanctity of marriage… and yet, I find myself divorced in a way that I could have, and should have, prevented if I had simply had the uncomfortable conversation with my then future husband.
I never, EVER thought I would be on the receiving end of infidelity. I couldn’t control his actions. And, the ugly truth is that you can’t control your future spouse’s actions, either, even if you truly believe they will never, ever cheat on you. Guess what? I rarely meet anyone in my divorce mediation practice who thought their spouse would cheat on them as they entered their marriage. It’s almost always a shock, and, most of the time, infidelity is carried out by the ones you least suspect.
The problem is that many couples do not know how to create this type of agreement in a cooperative, stress-free environment that leads to a decision where both parties are comfortable.
Bringing up the discussion of a prenup can ruffle some feathers, since some people don’t like the idea of discussing the potential for divorce. But it’s important to make sure your assets are protected and you both have an idea of what will happen in the event problems do arise in the marriage.
And the truth is that prenups are about protecting both spouses — particularly if you create your PMA through mediation.
That’s where I come in.
I am an award-winning mediator who facilitates a mediation process designed to reach a fair result for both parties. I can help you envision what your PMA will say about what happens at death or divorce so that you can both get back to focusing on the joy of getting married.
How it Works
Why Choose a Mediated Prenup
Both parties are on equal footing when mediating a prenup. Neither party is represented by the mediator.
Mediating your prenup means we do this as a couple and do not pit one side against the other.
You control your outcome
If a divorce happens, there is always a prenup – it’s either Oregon’s default prenup (i.e. divorce laws) or your mediated prenup.
Our flat fee covers both parties’ expenses so you get exactly what you both need without breaking the bank.
Contact Mediation Northwest to discuss your options
If you are considering mediation, my boutique mediation firm can help you assess whether mediation is the right choice for your situation. Mediation has a very high success rate and can be an excellent option for many couples at different points in their relationship.