Who pays the expenses during a divorce?
It all depends.
Expenses you incur during the ‘not quite married, not quite divorced,’ time-period are tricky and grey. There isn’t a hard and fast rule, either. Super helpful, right? Keep reading.
So, what do you do?
You talk about it. You figure out your expenses and your incomes and you make a temporary agreement.
For the spouse who asked for the divorce, you likely had a lot of time to emotionally process your decision to divorce before telling your spouse. Recognize that your spouse needs time to emotionally process the divorce, too, and s/he is in no emotional position to also talk about finances… usually for a month or more. If this is you, be patient and continue to share expenses as you did the month prior.
For the spouse who doesn’t earn an income to support himself/herself, you need to begin a conversation with your spouse about his/her expectations during this delicate time.
For the spouse who earns more money or entirely supports the family, have realistic expectations that you will continue to be the “bread winner” for the family until the divorce is final.
The majority of my divorce mediation couples continue to share expenses until the divorce is finalized.
However, if one party makes all the money and s/he refuses to share the expenses during the temporary period of ‘not quite married, not quite divorced,’ then you may need to go to court and request the court to order temporary support from your spouse to pay the expenses. The court will review the expenses and the incomes and make a temporary order of who pays what.
Here is my suggestion. Continue to share expenses and also make an agreement that neither party can spend X amount of dollars without mutual agreement. This way, you have time to figure-out your new paths and you avoid costly court.
Divorce is one of the most painful experiences you will endure in your life. I will walk with you through the fiery pits of divorce hell. I will guide you and tell you the traps to avoid. We will get through this together until we get to the other side.
If you still have questions and want to schedule a consultation, please click here to schedule a 30-minute consultation.
If you want to read more about divorce mediation in Oregon, you can download my book, Divorce Mediation in Oregon for free by clicking here.