After 20+ years of mediating divorces, I can clearly state that there are eight reasons why most couples get a divorce.

  1.  Infidelity. Whether the infidelity has been physical or emotional, it is rare for a couple to move past an infidelity because it impacts trust between the couple.
  2.  Different money habits. If one party is a spender and the other party is a saver, and either party cannot tolerate the other’s spending habits, this can become a determining issue for a divorce.
  3.  Clashing parenting styles. When one parent is lenient and the other parent is authoritarian, may couples seek a divorce. Alternatively, when one parent is responsible for a great majority of the parenting, the parenting parent usually asks for a divorce.
  4.  Lack of fair distribution of chores. When both parties work, but one party is responsible for most of the couples’ chores, that party tends to ask for a divorce.
  5.  Lack of respect. When a party is repeatedly dismissive of the other party, calls the other party names, or doesn’t share information, then eventually the other party realizes the grass really is greener by him/herself.
  6.  Gas lighting. Gas lighting is when one party uses psychological means to make the other party question their own sanity. Who wants to live in that hell?! And yet, it is much more common than you would think.
  7.  Abuse. When one party is physically and/or emotionally abused, that party leaves the marriage to stop the abuse.
  8.  Lack of sex. When one party wants to have sex and the other party doesn’t accommodate his/her needs, then that party either has an affair, is resigned to not having sex, or gets a divorce.

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